Archive for the ‘cougar’ Category

We have it all ,check out these gilf-milf

What an excelant collection of hot babes for phone!  IF You can’t find your perfect phone sex match here then she doesnt exist. So go pic a favorite and give her a call!  Toll free, only the best and all mjor cards excepted. It doesnt get any hotter!

Now I don’t agree with the following article per say, but it tickeled me so here ya go…

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An AARP sex survey of older Americans, released a few days ago, was embarrassing to us old-timers.

My first question is: Why conduct such a survey? Shouldn’t old people instead be slurping pudding? Or taking stool softeners? Or napping?

By napping, I don’t mean the kind of afternoon “nap” taken when the kiddies were young, when parents slipped a Blockbuster-rented cartoon into the VCR and told the cherubs not to disturb their “sleep.”

I’m talking about the nap where you fall asleep in the rocker during the fourth inning of a Twins game. After all, that’s what old people do.

Old people don’t talk about their sex lives, at least not without blushing or unless they’re in a confessional.

Although red-faced, shocked, appalled, titillated and claustrophobic (from the confessional), I did read the findings of the poll about the sex lives of Americans 45 and older. Many results were eye-opening and worthy of a reaction. For instance:

- Finding: When asked about frequency, 37 percent of males and 58 percent of females said they hadn’t had any sex in the past six months.

Reaction: There are two possible explanations for this 21 percent discrepancy: 1) Even when they’re old, males exaggerate their sexual prowess; 2) The sex was so bad that the women don’t remember it.

- Finding: Respondents who had a partner but weren’t married had sex more frequently than respondents who were married.

Reaction: Some things never change.

- Finding: Sex happens less often than it did 10 years ago.

Reaction: Makes sense. There are more cable channels now than 10 years ago.

- Finding: Older adults are more open to sex outside of marriage than they were 10 years ago.

Reaction: Unless it involves their unmarried children.

- Finding: The bad economy has meant less sex because of tensions over financial worries.

Reaction: The bad economy has meant less sex because those blue pills are expensive.

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now that youve had a giggle with me, call me and we”ll prove that older is better, and a mature hot fuck is the best. I know plenty of grampas Id love to jump and have no dought it would be a wild ride.  Call me and check out my other pics on  number1nastyphonesex.com

OK…. so you think you’ve heard some strange shit and I know I have but here ya go…. Ran across these tid-bits cruizin the web. Enjoy a grin on me, then call your Mommy Gayle. Weird makes me wet .   1-877-271-6527

The Mailman Took My Sex Toys
A British postal worker has been accused of stealing porn, sex toys and women’s underwear from the mail over the past 10 years, according to Peterborough Today.

Banana Sex Cult
The cops in Papua New Guinea are looking for a cult leader who told villagers they’d have a fantastic banana crop… if they’d just engage in public sex, according to Australia’s ABC news network. Villagers say the cult threatened violence on anyone who did not participate in public sex sessions.

Teacher Turns Into Porn Star
Kids remember Tiffany Shepherd as their biology teacher. Now, she’s giving explicit lessons in human reproduction as porn star Leah Lust, according to the New York Daily News. She says she had to turn to porn after losing her teaching job when photos of her on a bikini fishing cruise surfaced.

Auto Erotica
An Albuquerque man was arrested after pulling down his pants and humping his car in the parking lot ofa grocery store as people looked on. Police said they found Danny Brawner, 46, asleep next to his car after the incident, and that he appeared to be intoxicated.

Gayle 1-877-271-6527 toll free

Hello Gentlemen! How are you today? Well, am HAWT and steamy and ready to have some fun with a sweet young man! Summer time is right around the corner and I am already feeling the HEAT!
This summer my family and I are going to be spending time at a lake and at the ocean too. I LOVE going for long walks all by myself with Colby…our family ‘dog’! (wink-wink)
Who knows, maybe Colby and I will bump into you on one of our long walks together! Look for us!
Call me! I want to know your summer plans! #1-877-696-9733

Every where you look, theres a pill ,or pump , or suppliment claiming to give any man a huge ass cock.This got mean thinking about my sissy boys, and what if they give into the pressure  to enhance their boy clittys. How sad.

It was only after happening to see that shocking late night infomercial with that poor, uncomfortable and wimpy looking guy talking to those three, shameless little, big-cock craving sluts. And, then hearing my own boyfriend ask me if I thought he should try one of those products, that the grim and frightening implications of it all began to sink in.

At first I wasn’t quite sure of what I actually thought about penis pills myself, and didn’t see the terrible global implications of it all. But then, after finding myself unable to sleep, and continuing to ponder it, I suddenly saw it just as clearly as I saw the dangers of nuclear proliferation: Penis pills represented the dawn of a terrifying new age.Forget about saving the planet. The planet isn’t going to be worth saving.

And, that is why I’ve decided that I can’t just stand by and do nothing about it any longer. Something needs to be done, and it needs to be done fast, and that’s why I’ve decided to start a campaign to:

     SAVE THE TEENY WEENIES!

ENDAGERED SPIECIES

Yes, there are going to be “Save the Teeny Weenies!” T-shirts, and bumper stickers, and buttons, and caps. And, maybe even some of those sweat pants with it written across the fanny. Please let me know if you have any ideas too, because we’ve got to get the word out, our very lives may depend on it!
I believe theres still time my poor miniture penis guys.

  Call me and Ill show how your dinky dicky can still be fun.   Love Mommy Gayle

1-877-271-6527