Archive for the ‘Funny’ Category

Hello there boys, I want to give you a little present for the holiday’s from me to you. Let me explore your wildest fantasies or even a special holiday dream. Give me a ring and just say Happy Holiday’s and get your special surprise.

I found this poem and just had to share it.

A Christmas Wish

On a Christmas Eve at midnight
When I got into bed
I lay upon my pillow
And there beside my head
Was Santa with his trousers off
And this is what he said
Happy Christmas little girl
I’ve unwrapped this gift for you
So take this gift with pleasure
To make your wish come true
Because Santa comes but once a year
And tonight he comes with you

MMMM Santa I am on your very naughty list but I know you have a great big present just for me!

Tisha
1-877-814-7599
http://www.1kinkyclosetphonesex.com/tisha.htm

I finally found some candy that both I and my sissies enjoy. Just like Lays potatoes chips I don’t think I will eat just one. I can just imagine the sweet taste of them.

I know my sissies will love having a box when they can’t get the real thing. Though I wonder does it melt in your hand like it melts in your mouth? I know some of my girlfriends who would love to have a box just for themselves.

Why don’t you give me a call and tell me whether you would like to share a box with me.

Tawnya
1-877-452-9390

One of my little dicklet boys and I were surfing the net one night looking for interesting humiliation pics and this one I just loved. How many men do you think would be intimidated by this bathroom? Do you think you measure up enough to unzip in front of these urinals?

I know I would love to have a video camera in this bathroom just for one to see the reaction on some of your faces as you stepped in. I can just see some of you doing your best to ignore those eyes watching you making you aware of how big/small you really are. Some I am sure would be standing there doing the pee pee dance till you just couldn’t take it and you either run into the stall or close your eyes and unzip and hope your wee willy hits the spot.

I know my little dicklet boy told me he would love it because he would think of all the humiliating things these girls would be saying to him when he pulled out his little worm. I told him oh yes that little 3 inch tootsie roll would get quite a few laughs and that yes they would take pictures just to show their friends. He loved the thought of those pictures going around so fast that when he came out of the bathroom everyone would be pointing and laughing at him.

Do you need that laughter to make your wee willy hard?

Then call me and I will be more then happy to help you out!

Tawnya
1-877-452-9390
http://www.slutetc.com/tawnya.htm

Nasty Naughty holiday wishes

Or how I have temporarily lost contact with my friend Mary – you remember me and Mary Lucia – we were actual roommates for a minute – she lives on the gulf coast – and how much fun we had going down to the harbor and flirting with all the shrimpers and pleasure boaters….so there we were one day – halter tops, short shorts, hi heeled sandals – and there he was – tall built, dark curly hair, bare chested – and there she went.  Last I saw Mary she was waving bye bye to me at the harbor – and they both had BIG smiles on their faces!  Now Mary will eventually return to dry land – and she’ll have a LOT OF hot stories to tell when she does – but who can blame a girl for the chance to sail away with a young, good looking guy – and she knows I expect post cards!  I will keep you all posted on her exploits – call me and I’ll share a few with you right now!  1-888-319-9489 toll free!

I’ll give you the pretty phone sex lips before I give you the scary lips of the past.  Ladies fighting against there men, not letting them do as they wish or need!

Kiss my Lips XoXo both sets

Now remember how pretty my lips are and how I’ll let you do anything in the world and so will my girlfriends at SLUTetc.com

Now way back in 1919 if you weren’t at Miss Kitty’s Saloon or one of the many other wonderful brothel’s of the time.  You might be encountered by the lovely ladies the poor hard working bastards had to go home too!  And let’s not forget about how they would rule the roost and imagine the sour puss sex those poor bastards had ;(

Well back in the day in Montana for goodness sake .. Cold outside and oh my god Shivering inside!

These sourpuss’s decided they didn’t want there men stinking of booze … My god they had to drink to go home and face these beauties lol enjoy!

Montana Beauties

RUN INTO OUR ARMS BOYS, we’ll protect you XOXOXO

We promise to suck you, not sourpuss you

1-877-787-7961

…

Hi its Ellen – had something of a quasi-tragedy at my place the other day – BOB (you all KNOW BOB) that is my very own Battery Operated Boyfriend – bit the dust!  Bought the farm – went to that vibrator heaven in the sky – hey maybe it used a white lighter and become one with the 27 Club who KNOWS – gave an odd shudder – emitted a faint aroma of burning electrical – and then played became just one more dead soldier.  But as they say LIFE goes on and so does Ellen.  Quick as you can say ‘CUM FUCK AUNTIE’ I was online and even as I type a NEW BOB – and a replacement – are winging their way to me via UPS, and as happy as my UPS man IS everytime he delivers to me – THIS time he’s in for the greeting of his life!

Now in the meantime poor Ellen has to make due with her fingers – and of course your help!  And let me tell you BOB is not my only external source of joy – but other than YOU it is my favorite.

Now really you must call me – lend a hand – so to speak -its so much better (with or without BOB) with YOU on the other end of the line.  Now give Auntie Ellen an assist – or be a GOOD boy and help Mama Ell out – call me – 1-888-319-9489.

I’m back and ready for more! Call me you hunk of a man! You know you want my sweet sex! Hot, steamy, juicy and sweaty, dirty filthy nasty talk.
I’m waiting in my bed 4 U 2day!
~loooonnng sweeeet sloppy LICKS~

# 1-877-416-1318