Archive for the ‘Mom’ Category

Hi Sweet-thing!
Call me!
#1-877-302-8846

Hi its Ellen – had something of a quasi-tragedy at my place the other day – BOB (you all KNOW BOB) that is my very own Battery Operated Boyfriend – bit the dust!  Bought the farm – went to that vibrator heaven in the sky – hey maybe it used a white lighter and become one with the 27 Club who KNOWS – gave an odd shudder – emitted a faint aroma of burning electrical – and then played became just one more dead soldier.  But as they say LIFE goes on and so does Ellen.  Quick as you can say ‘CUM FUCK AUNTIE’ I was online and even as I type a NEW BOB – and a replacement – are winging their way to me via UPS, and as happy as my UPS man IS everytime he delivers to me – THIS time he’s in for the greeting of his life!

Now in the meantime poor Ellen has to make due with her fingers – and of course your help!  And let me tell you BOB is not my only external source of joy – but other than YOU it is my favorite.

Now really you must call me – lend a hand – so to speak -its so much better (with or without BOB) with YOU on the other end of the line.  Now give Auntie Ellen an assist – or be a GOOD boy and help Mama Ell out – call me – 1-888-319-9489.

  It is a HOT and FUN summer!  It is almost time for the family reunion!  For the HOT details CALL ME NOW!  You know you will be glad you did! 

  Do what your Auntie Vicky says…you always have before  

#1-877-475-9145

When you want a woman who has been around the block a few times – when you want a woman who knows all about the many ways to make each other feel good – a woman with no taboos, no restrictions – a woman past the point of playing head games – who just wants to play with your head – a woman with a fully developed sexual appetite and the knowledge and experience to satisfy that appetite – come on with me and let Auntie Sophia take you for a real wild ride – I may not be a spring chicken but I can make your rooster go cock-a-doodle-do!  Give me a call – 1-888-371-6808.

How to Tell the Sex of a Fly

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her
husband stalking around with a fly swatter

“What are you doing?” she asked.
“Hunting flies,” he responded.
“Oh! Killing any?” she asked.
“Yep, 3 males, 2 females,” he replied.

Intrigued, she asked,
“How can you tell them apart?” 

“That’s easy,” he responded,
“3 were on a beer can,
2 were on the phone.”

LOL .. just a quick little funny to make your day smile I bet the ladies @ Cottage can make you smile too!  They also know the difference between male and female, let our Ladies guide you thru the most expolsive ORGASM of your life!  We will be your perfect partner for masturbation…  It just doesn’t get any better than that … does it?!?

CALL US TODAY for a TUESDAY STROKE

Mention this blog  and get a great discount  

 1-877-787-7961

1-877-PUSSY-61

1-877-PUSSY-61 ~~~~~~ 1-877-787-7961

GUARANTEED TO PLEASE

 

Hmmm hello my darling boys – how are you all – I want you to know that your yummy mommy is ready and waiting for one of my special sweeties to call me – and you know when I say I am ready I mean my nipples are hard and my pussy is aching to hear your voice – and you know when you do call your Juicy Justine no fantasy is taboo and there are no restrictions – now lets have a good hot time – call me – 1-877-239-3163

It’s Monday Moving Mania at Mary Lucia’s house today! As I am sure you have heard, our Miss Ellen is moving across the country to come set up shop with me in the sleepy little beach town I live in. And Mama Mary is a collector of all things sexy, from toys to lubes to handcuffs to lingerie to stilettos and stockings and corsets, oh my! I have one entire bedroom devoted to just my drop dead sexy outfits alone! So I need to make room, because I know Ellen has at least as many toys and outfits and bikinis as I do, and I am betting that she wants a place to put it!

My mind has been running amok with fantasies about what she and I are going to do once she is here, and naughty thing that she is; she has assured me that she used a very strict criterion for the hiring of moving men. They are tall, muscular, young, and best of all; they have the good taste to be connoisseurs of cougars, which would be Ellen and I! Oh, the PLANS we have for them……..the extra special tip we might bestow on them will make them the envy of long haul movers everywhere…..we will make SURE of that!!

It’s looking pretty firm for the last week of August, and I bet you are feeling pretty ‘firm’ just hearing that……I could not resist the cheesy pun, lol. We might be unavailable for a few days when she first gets here, unpacking and chilling out on the beach with pitchers of margaritas, getting reacquainted, but don’t worry. We won’t be gone long, and then we will be together in the same (bed) room, horny, excited, and ready to take your calls.

Want to get a head start on imagining what you would like to do with the two of us? Head on over to http://www.climaxxxave.com/mamaell.htm for a sneak peak at Ellen, then click on http://www.climaxxxave.com/marylucia.htm to appreciate my anatomy. Then imagine the two of us pressing the flesh, the phone between us as we work your hot cock into a ball emptying frenzy.

Can’t wait to talk to us? Call Ellen at 1-888-319-9489, or call me at 1-800-635-0243. For the moment, the lines ring in our respective homes over one thousand miles apart. Another six short weeks, and they will both ring in the same bedroom.

[caption id="attachment_177" align="aligncenter" width="199" caption="can you handle Ellen and I together?"][/caption]