Archive for the ‘Sex’ Category

Now I don’t agree with the following article per say, but it tickeled me so here ya go…

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An AARP sex survey of older Americans, released a few days ago, was embarrassing to us old-timers.

My first question is: Why conduct such a survey? Shouldn’t old people instead be slurping pudding? Or taking stool softeners? Or napping?

By napping, I don’t mean the kind of afternoon “nap” taken when the kiddies were young, when parents slipped a Blockbuster-rented cartoon into the VCR and told the cherubs not to disturb their “sleep.”

I’m talking about the nap where you fall asleep in the rocker during the fourth inning of a Twins game. After all, that’s what old people do.

Old people don’t talk about their sex lives, at least not without blushing or unless they’re in a confessional.

Although red-faced, shocked, appalled, titillated and claustrophobic (from the confessional), I did read the findings of the poll about the sex lives of Americans 45 and older. Many results were eye-opening and worthy of a reaction. For instance:

- Finding: When asked about frequency, 37 percent of males and 58 percent of females said they hadn’t had any sex in the past six months.

Reaction: There are two possible explanations for this 21 percent discrepancy: 1) Even when they’re old, males exaggerate their sexual prowess; 2) The sex was so bad that the women don’t remember it.

- Finding: Respondents who had a partner but weren’t married had sex more frequently than respondents who were married.

Reaction: Some things never change.

- Finding: Sex happens less often than it did 10 years ago.

Reaction: Makes sense. There are more cable channels now than 10 years ago.

- Finding: Older adults are more open to sex outside of marriage than they were 10 years ago.

Reaction: Unless it involves their unmarried children.

- Finding: The bad economy has meant less sex because of tensions over financial worries.

Reaction: The bad economy has meant less sex because those blue pills are expensive.

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now that youve had a giggle with me, call me and we”ll prove that older is better, and a mature hot fuck is the best. I know plenty of grampas Id love to jump and have no dought it would be a wild ride.  Call me and check out my other pics on  number1nastyphonesex.com

OK…. so you think you’ve heard some strange shit and I know I have but here ya go…. Ran across these tid-bits cruizin the web. Enjoy a grin on me, then call your Mommy Gayle. Weird makes me wet .   1-877-271-6527

The Mailman Took My Sex Toys
A British postal worker has been accused of stealing porn, sex toys and women’s underwear from the mail over the past 10 years, according to Peterborough Today.

Banana Sex Cult
The cops in Papua New Guinea are looking for a cult leader who told villagers they’d have a fantastic banana crop… if they’d just engage in public sex, according to Australia’s ABC news network. Villagers say the cult threatened violence on anyone who did not participate in public sex sessions.

Teacher Turns Into Porn Star
Kids remember Tiffany Shepherd as their biology teacher. Now, she’s giving explicit lessons in human reproduction as porn star Leah Lust, according to the New York Daily News. She says she had to turn to porn after losing her teaching job when photos of her on a bikini fishing cruise surfaced.

Auto Erotica
An Albuquerque man was arrested after pulling down his pants and humping his car in the parking lot ofa grocery store as people looked on. Police said they found Danny Brawner, 46, asleep next to his car after the incident, and that he appeared to be intoxicated.

Gayle 1-877-271-6527 toll free

Told you the critters are randy.

Bad pussy is everywhere you look. I’m surounded by horny pussy everywhere I go. Not a bad thing ,mind you. In fact it’s down right hot!

Since I’m sitting here thinking about humping,call me. Ill tell ya what else has crossed my nasty Mommy mind.  Kisses, Gayle

Remember I told you us girls on http://www.number1nastyphonesex.com/ are the best? Well I ran across our little Kaylas blog and she’s giving out email pictures of her and a hot black man she rode all weekend,with a paid call. Of course I had to beg for a peek and holy crap, she wasn’t kidding.  check out her blog. If she’s busy call me. Way hot boys! Mommy Gayle

all natural nips

It’s time to brag about the company I keep. I’m talkin about the rest of the hot sluts on  NUMBER1NASTYPHONESEX.COM  Honest to god these girls are the best. If you can’t find me or I’m busy with one of you bad boys,take a secound to look around there. You won’t be disapointed. We say………….our nasty ladies  will deliver the shock right to the center of your cock, ……… and we mean it!

Plus in case you missed her ,we have the hottest little virtual hostess.

How Can I Help?

Isn’t she just juicey? LOL Well she makes me wet. Cartoon or not. Just give her a call at.. 1-877-pussy 61 and by the way. she has all the info you need for all the hot  COTTAGE GIRLS SITES.

Call mommy soon boys… Its spring and time to mate!! Kisses Mommy Gayle

Spring is cumming and all the animals are in rut around my place in the country. Everywhere you look theres a male something humping a female something.  All that humping is having a super charged affect on me.  All I can think about is getting bred by the closest cock around. Old men, young guys and anything in between. Mommy just want to be jumped by a horny stud boy and fucked till I can’t walk. My titties are just aching to be full with sweet rich mommy milk. I need you to make my tummy swell and be your brood bitch. Cum tell mommy how bad you want me. Tell me how you want your cock to fill me with your seed.

God I love mating season in the country, It’s fuck fuck fuck, everywhere you look! Call me quick, I’m in heat for you  bad!

CLICK HERE -STRAIGHT TO MOMMY INFO & FREE PICS

Oh yeah boys, Saint Patrick’s Day is this coming up hump day. Oh my that sounds so good drunk Irish on hump day mmm. Well I just got myself horny. ~smile~

So what do you say lets have our own fun with Phone SEX this week! Instead of Pinch me I’m Irish how about Fuck me I’m Irish. ~wink~ Nothing better then a hot Irish redhead in your bed on a cold night.

Let's see if it works?

So give me a call and say I love the Irish and I will give you a special surprise.

Tawnya
1-877-452-9390
http://www.slutetc.com/tawnya.htm