Archive for the ‘Funny’ Category
Gayle’s goofy news
Now I don’t agree with the following article per say, but it tickeled me so here ya go…
—————————————————————————————————————————————
An AARP sex survey of older Americans, released a few days ago, was embarrassing to us old-timers.
My first question is: Why conduct such a survey? Shouldn’t old people instead be slurping pudding? Or taking stool softeners? Or napping?
By napping, I don’t mean the kind of afternoon “nap” taken when the kiddies were young, when parents slipped a Blockbuster-rented cartoon into the VCR and told the cherubs not to disturb their “sleep.”
I’m talking about the nap where you fall asleep in the rocker during the fourth inning of a Twins game. After all, that’s what old people do.
Old people don’t talk about their sex lives, at least not without blushing or unless they’re in a confessional.
Although red-faced, shocked, appalled, titillated and claustrophobic (from the confessional), I did read the findings of the poll about the sex lives of Americans 45 and older. Many results were eye-opening and worthy of a reaction. For instance:
- Finding: When asked about frequency, 37 percent of males and 58 percent of females said they hadn’t had any sex in the past six months.
Reaction: There are two possible explanations for this 21 percent discrepancy: 1) Even when they’re old, males exaggerate their sexual prowess; 2) The sex was so bad that the women don’t remember it.
- Finding: Respondents who had a partner but weren’t married had sex more frequently than respondents who were married.
Reaction: Some things never change.
- Finding: Sex happens less often than it did 10 years ago.
Reaction: Makes sense. There are more cable channels now than 10 years ago.
- Finding: Older adults are more open to sex outside of marriage than they were 10 years ago.
Reaction: Unless it involves their unmarried children.
- Finding: The bad economy has meant less sex because of tensions over financial worries.
Reaction: The bad economy has meant less sex because those blue pills are expensive.
—————————————————————————————————————————————
now that youve had a giggle with me, call me and we”ll prove that older is better, and a mature hot fuck is the best. I know plenty of grampas Id love to jump and have no dought it would be a wild ride. Call me and check out my other pics on number1nastyphonesex.com
Gayle’s Weird Sex News
OK…. so you think you’ve heard some strange shit and I know I have but here ya go…. Ran across these tid-bits cruizin the web. Enjoy a grin on me, then call your Mommy Gayle. Weird makes me wet . 1-877-271-6527
The Mailman Took My Sex Toys
A British postal worker has been accused of stealing porn, sex toys and women’s underwear from the mail over the past 10 years, according to Peterborough Today.
Banana Sex Cult
The cops in Papua New Guinea are looking for a cult leader who told villagers they’d have a fantastic banana crop… if they’d just engage in public sex, according to Australia’s ABC news network. Villagers say the cult threatened violence on anyone who did not participate in public sex sessions.
Teacher Turns Into Porn Star
Kids remember Tiffany Shepherd as their biology teacher. Now, she’s giving explicit lessons in human reproduction as porn star Leah Lust, according to the New York Daily News. She says she had to turn to porn after losing her teaching job when photos of her on a bikini fishing cruise surfaced.
Auto Erotica
An Albuquerque man was arrested after pulling down his pants and humping his car in the parking lot ofa grocery store as people looked on. Police said they found Danny Brawner, 46, asleep next to his car after the incident, and that he appeared to be intoxicated.
Gayle 1-877-271-6527 toll free
SAVE THE TINY COCKS !
Every where you look, theres a pill ,or pump , or suppliment claiming to give any man a huge ass cock.This got mean thinking about my sissy boys, and what if they give into the pressure to enhance their boy clittys. How sad.
It was only after happening to see that shocking late night infomercial with that poor, uncomfortable and wimpy looking guy talking to those three, shameless little, big-cock craving sluts. And, then hearing my own boyfriend ask me if I thought he should try one of those products, that the grim and frightening implications of it all began to sink in.
At first I wasn’t quite sure of what I actually thought about penis pills myself, and didn’t see the terrible global implications of it all. But then, after finding myself unable to sleep, and continuing to ponder it, I suddenly saw it just as clearly as I saw the dangers of nuclear proliferation: Penis pills represented the dawn of a terrifying new age.Forget about saving the planet. The planet isn’t going to be worth saving.
And, that is why I’ve decided that I can’t just stand by and do nothing about it any longer. Something needs to be done, and it needs to be done fast, and that’s why I’ve decided to start a campaign to:
ENDAGERED SPIECIES
Yes, there are going to be “Save the Teeny Weenies!” T-shirts, and bumper stickers, and buttons, and caps. And, maybe even some of those sweat pants with it written across the fanny. Please let me know if you have any ideas too, because we’ve got to get the word out, our very lives may depend on it!
I believe theres still time my poor miniture penis guys.
Call me and Ill show how your dinky dicky can still be fun. Love Mommy Gayle
Boys Will Be Boys
As we all know boys will be boys they never grow up they just get bigger and better toys. That is just the way I like it. I love understanding that no matter what age men will always have their urges.
Though the urges might change with age they will always be there. It doesn’t matter what age you boys are you always have an eye for the ladies. You can’t deny you would rather have a beautiful pair of breasts in your face then a drink of water to survive.
So whether you are still young and say I want big boobs or a bit more mature and demand huge breasts in your face you boys are all the same and I love it! Come join Mama in a hot call and let mama take care of all those naughty urges for you! 
Amanda
1-877-694-5179
Giggle From Gayle Phone Sex
Told you the critters are randy.
Bad pussy is everywhere you look. I’m surounded by horny pussy everywhere I go. Not a bad thing ,mind you. In fact it’s down right hot!
Since I’m sitting here thinking about humping,call me. Ill tell ya what else has crossed my nasty Mommy mind. Kisses, Gayle
Boy Toy Fantasy Phone Sex
I just love it when you come up with new ways to figure out hot fantasy fun while we are on the phone together. Now one of my boys loves to send me links to pictures on the internet to help me inspire his imagination for our Phone Sex sessions. Well he sent me a link to this picture and I started chomping at the bit to get started with his hot fantasy.
They say a picture is worth 1,000 words well I don’t know about you but I think I came up with a lot more then a 1,000 to describe these Boy Toys. Baby Sean you are so naughty I might just have to take you over my knee and give you a spanking. You knew this MILF would be drooling over these cowboys.
I mean you can tell these are real cowboys now can’t you? I mean they still have their boots on and obviously go no where with out their hats. So what inspires your imagination?
No matter what it is I am here for you so give me a call!
Fetish PhoneSex
Wow did you know that flashing was not just for fun. I found out there are actually groups to help those who have the urge to flash themselves in public. I always thought it was just for fun and a hot sexy fetish.
I myself love to give little flashes of naked flesh to hot young studs while I am out and about. I actually had a young stud last year flash me back and I was drooling and damp all day long. His cock was so nice and hard with a big mushroom head that was a deep purple.
The things that were running around in my head about what I would have loved to do to him. Just those thoughts kept my B.O.B. busy for hours. I came over and over again so hard I had to strip the sheets of the bed they were so wet.
Well I found a picture that was taken during one of these group meetings.
So do you see what I see in that picture? I don’t think that group is being so helpful to all of their members. hmm maybe I should go to that group?
How about I give a little fetish help we can be our own self help group. Though I don’t think it would be as helpful as the self help guru’s have in mind. ~wink~ So why don’t you call me for some hot Fetish PhoneSex and lets help each other out!
